HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY LITTLE BRAT!

x'mas mood everywhere,
not for me, not my thing.
good for me, cause i get a day off to spend it with girlfriend @ ikea!
(which i initially planned to TEACH her cycling but she refused)
my poor queen doesn't know how to cycle. awww.

ok whatever,
back to twilight!


; just you and i both

so there goes Japan.
we decide to go Bali instead.
sun-bathing, spa, beach, eat, shop!

it's amazing how ONE message can totally make her head over heels again;
after all the shit she had to go through?
i'm sorry but it's bullshit.
i warned you.

i was just at girlfriend's place (for the 4th time i think?).
yeah, that's how often i could go over.
whereas my place is like chalet.
she's snoring away as usual
so i'm all alone with dear diary's company.
i should get back to my Twilight.


; love made

tired, exhausted, drained.
the only place i find peace in my home - master bedroom's bathroom.
where tears can fall without anyone knowing.
where i can blast my music to clear my thoughts.
sometimes i just can't live in this home.
i feel suffocated. sigh.
whatever, i'm just gonna sleep it away tonight.

i'm on the everyone's-on-it Twilight book now.
as always, the book is much much better than the movie itself.
girlfriend is annoyed by how i'm so into the book;
she's almost non-existence when i'm concentrating.



; take me somewhere far away..

man oh man,
Japan sounds like a really good idea!
i swear i need to hire an immediate financial planner.
Every single cent counts now.
Fuck, i'm gonna dream about Japan tonight.
Please tell me it's positive baby girl.


Puzzled? so am i.

as i saw you lie motionless on the hospital bed,
i really wanted to shake you awake.
all of us were shaken..
you left this world so peacefully,
without anyone around to see you go.
your intentions, we all know.

now that you're up there,
we will miss you so very badly..
the joyful you on your wheelchair,
cooking for all of us our favourite dishes,
never fail to bring us happiness on every hari raya.
this time, you'll not be around to celebrate hari raya haji,
but you could still manage to finish making all the kueh kueh before you leave,
it's like you know your time is up.

no one expected your departure,
but it's all god's will.
My Nyai,
may Allah bless you and may you rest in peace.
041208, 00:01

i loved today,
it was well spent.
thanks love, for making it all so sweet :D

went for my dental appointment earlier.
instead of proceeding with my extraction (which was bad enough),
the dentist just had to make it worst:
he said both my wisdom tooth are touching my nerves
so a normal anesthetic opt will be too dangerous for him to perform.
so, i have been arranged to go to a specialist for full sedated opt.
to extract both at the same time.
fuck, how nice!
confirm MC 2 weeks. (my house is open!)


; and i fear once again..